I wanted to let everyone know that I will continue to blog, but not at this site.
Since finishing this trip, I have felt inspired to start a blog that aims to inspire people in their daily walks with Christ. I see a great need for Christians to "get off the bench" and "get in the game"; to abadon complacencies and begin the journey of living more radically for Christ.
With that in mind, my new blog wil be a series of short thoughts, reflections, and inspirations with the intention of encouraging Christians and inspiring them to "get in the game" of furthering the Gospel and fighting for justice. After all, there is no "Plan B": we are the hands and feet of Jesus.
Well, we're in the "final frontier" - about 12 days until I see everyone!
To give everyone a feel for where we're at, this week is our last week of ministry; my team and I are doing services for the homeless and calling girls at night, while during the day we'll be doing various tasks for our ministries. On Saturday, the squad and I are heading somewhere special for our final debrief! It's exciting, it's emotional, it's scary, it's... well, sometimes I don't even know what it is! It's been a wonderful journey, but we all need the Lord to help us put the pieces together.
If you could be in prayer for us, all 32 of us would greatly appreciate it! Personally, I am standing on Ecclesiastes 7:8, that the end of this trip will be better than the beginning; we are all excited to see what God will do, but we cannot forget that at this transitional time, we need Him more than ever!
I love you so much, and we'll see you in... dun dun dun... two weeks! :)
Oh you know... just my resignation from my old life.
I've been giving much thought to the idea of "wasting" my life on love; truly, it is a profound concept and I have a hard time "getting it". Jesus made sure people knew that following him wasn't a joy-ride... in addition to telling a man to "let the dead bury their own dead" (Matthew 8:22), Jesus also mentioned that he, the Son of Man, had no home (Matthew 8:20), to follow him meant choosing him over our own families, that we would have to lose our lives (both from Matthew 10:34-39), and that without taking care of orphans and widows and keeping ourselves pure, our religion is defiled (James 1:29).
I'll be honest: sometimes I am afraid to take the Bible literally. I've scolded people before by saying, "You can't only believe half of the Bible... it's all or nothing." I still believe that's true, but I also realize that I myself have acted as though parts of the Bible aren't important as other parts. I need to change in this area. I want to live wholly dependent on the Lord; I want to live like he is truly all I need; I want to live with an urgency for the Kingdom.
You see, if I truly believe 100% of the Bible, much will change in my life. This is what I mean by "consider this my resignation": I need to die to, resign from, the part of my that's afraid to take God at His Word.
Do I really believe that people will go to hell if they don't declare Jesus as their Savior? According to the Bible, he is "the way, the truth, and the life; no one gets to the Father accept through [him]" (John 14:6). Do I strive to control my tongue? My religion is worthless if I don't (James 1:26). Do I live by the "Golden Rule" (to do unto others)? That's in the Bible, you know! Matthew 7:12, to be exact.
And when I talk about "doing unto others", well... a lot more goes into that than one may initially think. I don't mean to "do unto others" by occasionally helping someone when it's convienient. I mean "doing unto others" by doing something about the 5,760 children that become orphans every day, the 1.2 billion people that strive for survival on less than $1 a day, the 27+ million that are sexual slaves today, or the 672,000 homeless men, women, and children who sleep on American streets nightly. "Doing unto others" takes on a whole new meaning when I consider that ignoring these people is ignoring the God that saved me.
I am still waiting for God to guide me into exactly what he would have me do next, and that's okay, but I am coming to the realization that I was created for a purpose, and if I don't take action, something will be left undone and someone will not hear the Good News. I don't know what this will mean for my life; Jesus gave us a glimpse into what the cost may be, and it is high. All I know at this point is that Jesus and his Word is becoming more important to me than other things, and that's all I need to know. If I "seek first the Kingdom of God" (Matthew 6:33), everything else will fall into place.
Here's the update: my squad and I made it safely to American the beautiful and have been here for a week now. Transitioning back home is both fast and slow: fast in that, hey, it's our culture and you just do it! Slow in the processing - so far I have found processing my feelings to be difficult because everything is so familiar. The temptation is to just get back into the swing of things and ignore my feelings, but I know I need to take extra time with God and identify feelings, thoughts, direction, etc.
We're staying in Atlanta, Georgia at a place called Safehouse Outreach - wonderful people who work with the homeless of Atlanta. I love staying here and sharing a washer, dryer, and fridge with 32 other people will definitely be a funny memory!
My team and I are working with 4Sarah, an organization dedicated to assisting women in their journey out of the adult entertainment industry. The founder is an ex-dancer and one of the greatest ladies I've met. We are privileged to be working with her!
Finally, I'll be at church on Saturday, May 21st. I'll be home a little before that, but spending time with family. I can't believe I'll be home in less than thirty days!
I love everyone so much... please pray for the last stretch of this trip to be the best it's been! I've been believing that "the end will be better than the beginning" (Ecclesiastes 7:8). Thank you and see you soon!
Tomorrow is a big day... at 6am, we leave the Indian hostel we have called "home" for the past month and begin the looooooong journey back to the States. We will be doing our final month of the Race in Atlanta, Georgia, and we'll be home for the weekend of May 21st and 22nd.
As my team and I packed today, a few things came to my attention...
The first is that, when I left for the Race in January, my clothes took up the entire middle section of my backpack (about from my shoulders to my lower back). Now, they may be the same size as the length of my shoulder blades. I guess I didn't need as much as I thought I would?
Next, things last a lot longer than I thought they did; for example, I've had the same two chapsticks since December and they're still going strong! A shampoo I brought from the Seattle hotel lasted me a month, a half-a-jar of peanut butter lasted over two months, and some things in life I thought were 100% absolutely necessary, really aren't (ie, hamburgers). ;)
Finally (and this is the point), life is very simple. I need my Bible, a pen, and paper to start my day. Water, food, exercise, and clothes will keep my body going. A place to stay and call "home" and know that I am loved is necessary, and a bed is an appreciated addition. A camera is nice to have (though not necessary), as well as certain foods, an iPod for sermons and music, and okay, I'll admit that I really like candles and orange juice. But other than that, not much is necessary to live.
I'm not trying to make a sell-all-your-stuff point. I'm not trying to convince you to downsize or give more. I'm merely making an observation, and that is that I am surprised at how little is "required" to live, especially when you consider that half the things I listed are preferences, not necessities. To die really is to gain, and to have little is to have more.
When I say, "I'm into India", I mean it. I love this country, and I love what it has taught me... to live simply, constantly being aware that "the earth mourns and dries up, and the crops waste away and wither. Even the greatest people on earth waste away" (Isaiah 24:4); to love people as much as I love my Savior. India, thank you for reinforcing what I should've already known.
W a s t i n g m y l i f e o n l o v e . . . s o u n d s l i k e a g r e a t i d e a .
Many of us know of the TOMS Shoes campaign, "One Day Without Shoes". If you want more details, you may go to this address, but the basic idea is for those of us who are privileged to own a pair of shoes (and many of us own 5+ pairs!) to not wear shoes for a day in honor of those who cannot afford even this basic need. Ideally, this would cause people to ask, "Why on earth aren't you wearing shoes?!" From there, you can spread the word of the thousands of people world-wide who are in need of a simple pair of shoes.
I love the idea of it, and I definitely think it's a great way to spread awareness of global poverty.
This year, however, my "One Day Without Shoes" had a little spin put on it... I went "One Day Without Shoes" in India, and the city with the highest poverty rate, at that!
The experience was a good one! Let me preface my tale by saying that no, at the end of the day there was not broken glass or other foreign objects in my foot. I did not contract gang green or a crazy foreign fungus, all of my toes are still present, my arches did not disappear, and the cracks in my feet were already there. A little dirt and a new perspective were all I gained.
Firstly, my "One Day Without Shoes" served as a reminder to pray for those who are in need. Secondly, I'll admit that it's kind of a funny story and I do feel a little cool being able to say, "Yeah, I went without shoes in India."
Thirdly, and most importantly, a little dose of reality never hurt anyone. To go without shoes was humiliating at some points; I can only imagine the humiliation of people a person who really just can't afford a pair of shoes. To go without shoes was funny when people would ask or laugh; I'm not sure it's all that funny to someone who genuinely doesn't have shoes. To go without shoes was a little weird in that I could feel the sidewalk, the rocks, the water, the sharp objects, the whatever was beneath my feet; I am sure a person without shoes would would never use the word "weird" to explain what they feel beneath their feet.
Finally, to go "One Day Without Shoes" was to literally "walk a mile in the shoes" of a person with none. The day left me with a great sense of compassion for my fellow human beings. To feel what they feel every day was humbling and eye-opening.
In all honesty, I am not yet sure where to go with this experience. For starters, you and I can shop TOMS Shoes here - for every pair of shoes purchased, TOMS will give a new pair of shoes to a child in need.
Other than that, I have an experience that has lead me to want to take action... any suggestions?
India... the poverty is overwhelming, waiting to jump out at you around every corner. The streets are lined with beggars; some are orphaned children, some have no job, some have been kicked out of their homes for religious reasons. Deformities and illnesses have left some for dead. There are often people bathing or urinating in the streets because they have nowhere else to do these things. Many pick through the garbage in hopes of finding food or something to sell. Many folks won't ask for money; they need food, a shirt, a pair of shoes, or bandages for infected injuries.
Being overwhelmed by this, I decided not to give to anyone since I couldn't help everyone.
After a week and a half, I felt like I couldn't smile at anyone. To do so would mean making eye contact; eye contact sent me for a guilt trip every time! Every night, I would cry myself to sleep because I felt guilty, selfish, helpless, and broken.
Late one night, I was so frustrated, so sick of crying and feeling hopeless for the people of India. "There are sixteen million people in this city, God; I can't help them all!"
Suddenly, I felt like going through my iPod and finding a podcast to listen to. I clicked on one I had downloaded in Thailand; I listen to these podcasts every time they come out, but for whatever reason, hadn't heard this one yet. It is by Pastor Andy Stanley, entitled "Do for One".
I would highly recommend downloading it on iTunes, but the overall principle is this: "do for one what you wish you could do for all".
Eureka! Hearing this podcast, I felt the Lord's answer... just because they beg and it's uncomfortable for you doesn't mean they don't deserve to be treated like human beings. Love them as I have loved them.
It's been about a week since I vowed to put this principle into place. So far, I have found that "doing for one" keeps my heart soft. Doing for no one only harms myself. Giving where and when I can keeps my dependancy on Jesus and my heart full of love.
For example, the other day I brought some leftover fruit from breakfast to a man I pass every day. Bending down and putting my hand on his shoulder, I handed him the fruit and asked, "Aap nar nam kee?" ("What's your name?" in Bengali) with a smile on my face. Doing this made my heart swell with joy when he asked my name and how I was. This also freed me to smile at the rest of the city, though I had nothing to give them.
Today, I volunteered for the first time at Mother Teresa's Home for the Dying. Washing and making beds, cleaning clothes and dishes, serving food, and massaging women's hurting arms and legs are my way of "doing for one".
Some days, "doing for one" means talking to a child on the street who knows English (one of my little friends is so cute!). Another day, it may be giving a woman on the street some change. It could be buying an Indian friend cookies or stopping to have chai (tea) with them. I can "do for one" of my teammates by giving them something they need that I have extra (Tums, anyone?).
When I get home, "doing for one" may mean praying with someone for an hour rather than talking about their problems for an hour. "Doing for one" could be giving someone a ride, buying their lunch, helping them with homework, cleaning for them, or serving them in some other capacity.
I desire for this principle to be one I live by... I'll never be able to fix everyone's problems, but I may be able to help one person. As the Helen Keller quote goes, "I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do."
Ask yourself, "How can I 'do for one' today?" Once you have an answer, I challenge you to do it. You have the power to make the world a better place today. Why would you refuse such an opportunity?
Last night, my team and I got to watch a documentary that portrays exactly what we're dealing with: the lives of over 27 million men, women, and children being shattered every day by others who are just-as-broken. Our fellow human beings are hurting and either making purchases or being purchased.
The fact is that our generation can not remain silent about such a crime; the fact is that our generation has more potential to stop such a crime; the fact is that our generation teeters between being a generation of integrity and God-sized love or a generation of hatred and mindless complacency. The time is now; what will you choose?
This video shows a preview of the short film "Fields of Mudan"; it gets the point across but I'd highly recommend the entire film, which runs about 20 minutes.
This may be the quickest blog EVER... we have made it to India! My team and I have arrived in our city and have officially had orientation with the business we'll be working with, as well as at Mother Teresa's Home for the Dying, where we will be volunteering once a week. We got a tour of the city today... you name the transportation method, we took it! Train, bus, ferry, rickshaw, taxi... check, check, check, check, and check.
I absolutely love India: the clothes, the customs, the food, the social standards, the accents, the color, the culture... it's great. I can already tell it will be hard to leave this place in April! It truly is incredible.
I apologize, but for safety I need to be very vague in emails and blogs. I also will not be updating much this month due to the scarcity of internet here.
I love you all very much - I can't believe it's not butter, or that I'll be home in two short months! :)
Sawadee-kah, everyone! (That's the last time I can say "hello" in Thai!)
In a couple of hours, my team and I will be heading out from Chiang Mai, Thailand to go to Calcutta, India (with a stop in Bangkok and Mumbai first).
Our squad will spend a couple of days in Mumbai debriefing our experiences so far; I am very excited to have a couple of days to breathe, process, and get the Lord's direction before beginning a month of ministry in aftercare.
Last night, we went to say goodbye to our new friends who work at the bars. These women, swallowed in their own stories of brokenness and helplessness, hugged us gently, told us that they loved us, and made sure we knew that if we were ever in Chiang Mai again, we better come back and see them. :) The feeling of saying goodbye to them was haunting: for me, this is "goodbye, nice to meet you, I'm off to travel the world and go home to my family and friends that love me." For the girls, this is, "goodbye, nice to meet you, I'll be here working another seven hours tonight and if I'm lucky, some man will pick me to go home with him for the night so I can make enough money to support my family that, rather than showing gratitude to me for providing to them, is ashamed that I am a prostitute."
How did I get so lucky?
Then today, we went and said goodbye to the kids. (The picture shows a craft one of the girls made, on which she wrote "[Her name] loves Alicia" over and over.) The young girl that made the craft lives in the tiniest shack in the slum and is forced to sleep in the same bed as her grandfather every night; sexual abuse is suspected but in Thailand, before action can be taken, there must be a witness. Thus, this sweet girl remains silenced.
Again, how did I get so lucky?
Many laughs, gifts, hugs and kisses later, I am sitting in my room hoping that my long hug and broken Thai "I love you" somehow communicated to the kids how much I love them and that I will be praying for them constantly. They are so precious.
The rest of today consists of packing, returning my bike, and trying to make it back to my favorite street vendor for dinner before a long bus ride back to Bangkok.
The next time anyone hears from me, I'll be India - ahh! I hope that everyone has an amazing Tuesday (or whatever day you read this) and feels the love of God more powerfully in their lives today.
I've been giving much thought to the idea of "wasting" my life on love; truly, it is a profound concept and I have a hard time "getting it". Jesus made sure people knew that following him wasn't a joy-ride... in addition to telling a man to "let the dead bury their own dead" (Matthew 8:22), Jesus also mentioned that he, the Son of Man, had no home (Matthew 8:20), to follow him meant choosing him over our own families, that we would have to lose our lives (both from Matthew 10:34-39), and that without taking care of orphans and widows and keeping ourselves pure, our religion is defiled (James 1:29).
And when I talk about "doing unto others", well... a lot more goes into that than one may initially think. I don't mean to "do unto others" by occasionally helping someone when it's convienient. I mean "doing unto others" by doing something about the 5,760 children that become orphans every day, the 1.2 billion people that strive for survival on less than $1 a day, the 27+ million that are sexual slaves today, or the 672,000 homeless men, women, and children who sleep on American streets nightly. "Doing unto others" takes on a whole new meaning when I consider that ignoring these people is ignoring the God that saved me.
As my team and I packed today, a few things came to my attention...
The experience was a good one! Let me preface my tale by saying that no, at the end of the day there was not broken glass or other foreign objects in my foot. I did not contract gang green or a crazy foreign fungus, all of my toes are still present, my arches did not disappear, and the cracks in my feet were already there. A little dirt and a new perspective were all I gained.
In all honesty, I am not yet sure where to go with this experience. For starters, you and I can shop TOMS Shoes 
Last night, we went to say goodbye to our new friends who work at the bars. These women, swallowed in their own stories of brokenness and helplessness, hugged us gently, told us that they loved us, and made sure we knew that if we were ever in Chiang Mai again, we better come back and see them. :) The feeling of saying goodbye to them was haunting: for me, this is "goodbye, nice to meet you, I'm off to travel the world and go home to my family and friends that love me." For the girls, this is, "goodbye, nice to meet you, I'll be here working another seven hours tonight and if I'm lucky, some man will pick me to go home with him for the night so I can make enough money to support my family that, rather than showing gratitude to me for providing to them, is ashamed that I am a prostitute." 
Then today, we went and said goodbye to the kids. (The picture shows a craft one of the girls made, on which she wrote "[Her name] loves Alicia" over and over.) The young girl that made the craft lives in the tiniest shack in the slum and is forced to sleep in the same bed as her grandfather every night; sexual abuse is suspected but in Thailand, before action can be taken, there must be a witness. Thus, this sweet girl remains silenced. 